Do you know how to react well, win-win strategy?
This is Part 2 of the Sensitive and Difficult, and quite often avoided Subject: Work Harassment.
HAVE YOU SEEN "BOMBSHELL"?
I did with my best friend, Magdalena. We watched in the cinema...and we know that even if we didn't experience this on our own skin, we would stand beside those who did.
After the movie, walking by on the O'Connell Street from Savoy Cinema, in the rainy chilly evening, I said to my best female friend, that "I would fight" and I asked her, "Would you?" Her answer was not surprised, as my best friend we have very similar values. We know each other since young teenage hood, we both studied yoga, became teachers and we went through all kind of Hindi and Buddhism ancient philosophy. She says "Yes, me too".
Shortly about movie as you have to watch yourself.
It is based on the real story of sexual and work harassment on multiply employees, famous journalists, in this case females, by former CEO of channel Fox TV.
See it to learn how to FIGHT if you ever will be expose even to a 1% of what those employees went through. Yes, movie do teach. The good know or based on the real stories.
Funny thing is that I knew down there that the story might happen and well, if you think about something, it might happen fast. Intuition speaks quietly but strongly and if you listen you will be able to know more than you even think. If you believe you will also attract, regardless if it this is what you do want or don't. Why???
Because LIFE shapes your character and gives you choices to take. ;)
"Go, let it be done to you as you believed." (Mt 8, 13)
I never quote Bible, but well, that's so easy to do so and at least I do believe in this phrase after experiencing it. Watch your thoughts and you will be aware what will happen.
To live is to have a PURPOSE. Everywhere where you are.
Not only Passion to what you do but also PURPOSE.
And in this case, is not about design for product or service but about DESIGn your life, yourself.
Life brings you sometimes challenges or difficult people to show them lesson, to teach them that they do not have power over you.
It will be only UP TO YOU how you respond to it and that's all about.
"Never give power to people, conditions, or events over you. The causality is hidden in you." Joseph Murphy and you have to choose the hidden PURPOSE to become greater (fight), ignore (fly) or become weaker (freeze).
I WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE TO FIGHT if the Good Law is broken, if the rights of people are broken, mine or others, regardless if I can lose something material.
Life is not money. Life is values and I am not for sale. My life does have Purpose, not Price as Life is priceless.
We will shift now to a bit although we merge after once again to the main subject
Have you seen and/or read "The Circle"? where the main character after joining massive company and believe in the company purpose, soon decide to expose the hidden harmful agenda of the business model to prevent more harm, even this would cause that she loose a lot, but well, she decide to lose "a lot", to not lose herself and loves one. Someone, who had been watching those bad and ugly actions of "founders and bosses" for a while, decide to expose the newcomer to the TRUTH and she takes action regardless loosing "dream career", which she was waiting for a long time.
Well, I know I will do the same and even I was told that I did.
My short thoughts about movie
We do not have to WATCH EACH OTHER 24/7 if we able to SPEAK, PROTECT AND STAND FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS.
My short thoughts of CCTV
Although I do believe CCTV are making more good than harm even if sometimes it is a bit weird to know that we are watch in most of the places. But I see the purpose even if I do value privacy and free speech, and I do often cross the limited ;) etc. However having quite often written proof, pictures or recording is the best way to prove reality and I see know why people do install cameras in front their house if they off course do not do out because of boredom or strange, very weird purposes. Any CCTV can only be installed for a good cause of protection, safety and health, otherwise is actually breaking the law of privacy of citizens, neighbours, staff members, students etc. Coming back to the GOOD PURPOSE, without physical proof, we might be disbelieve. "Just talks, spoken words" might be not taken under consideration as seriously, however more likely they will as the sensitivity of harassment, abuse, violence including verbal, emotional, mental not just physical, is growing for GOOD OF ALL.
I will first TALK. ALWAYS. 1:1 and see if the issue can be sort it out. We cannot shame people just because we have recorded videos or sound, took picture or have written proof. We have to be patience, wait, prepare and talk, even few times, if is not very harmful abuse, physical harm etc. However if doesn't help the simple 1:1 talk that time harassment has to be reported.
There is no other way to finish this. If the predator(s) cannot learn, she/he/they has to be exposed.
Walking away without saying anything is ignoring the issue and leaving this strange feeling that WE COULD DO SOMETHING. Staying in fear and "accepting" is not good for own wellbeing, mental and physical health and even for work performance.
The only POSITIVE FULLY SOLUTION IS TO CHOOSE "FIGHT" off course with highest manners and professionalism. Always PROFESSIONAL. ALWAYS. Never using the same bullying techniques. NEVER, as you might become one so be careful how do you react to prevent and not cause it.
Reacting, exposing and choosing "fighting" approach cannot bring HARM to none. Even to predator, dictator, bully.
CCTV VS SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS
WHY CCTV CAMERAS ARE GOOD FOR HEALTH & SAFETY when use to PROTECT US and Filming Day to Day average life and post it with unknown "followers" is not healthy and even safety.
This subject at same stage will be written separately. I am actually fully qualified Digital Marketing Specialist so let's say few word here about what do I think about Social Media.
Clarification first
I do not use facebook for many years already, and created quite late, late 2010, Oct or Nov.
I erased long ago, couple of years ago, 2015. I previously used mostly for business purpose (yoga studio)
I used very rarely only for art relative stuff, my exhibitions, paintings, few pictures of myself, stay inspired by other artists and designers. On my account there is few headshots and few photos with my paintings, that's all. I actually should paint more, so maybe insta will one day be more active than for the last 2 years.
HOW CAN YOU LEARN ABOUT ME
I do value when people share what they think on various topics in all kind of ways.
If they have a PURPOSE and want to be GOOD at this, create the business from it or expose own hobby and just share, I feel social media are great tool.
EVERYTHING HAS TWO SIDE OF THE SAME COIN. Isn't it?
It depends HOW YOU USE IT.
I use social media to share
my values and life purpose, my thoughts and that way you can learn a lot from reading my blog, see my creative side in my art and time to time hear something from occasional posts or comments on LinkedIn.
there is always a bit depth in it even sometimes is very joyful or ironic style, or very deep...
as here. Maybe, it is up to you to judge.
However Social Media went a bit wrong direction, if they are super personal
and that's my opinion even as Digital Marketing Specialist.
But that's the choice of Users, or maybe let's call this straight forward: maybe that's the addiction and also marketing social media a bit "brainwash"...
Social Media has great possibilities but only if has also a purpose. Purpose for me is any sort of exposition of passion, hobby talent I say yes, and I even says more YES when comes to brining the values to business, product, service, even it it is just DIY at first, etc. makes no more harm.
If it is all about showing too much of yourself, it might bring a big harm. From a damage, social and psychological. This too personal life exposition, quite often is very fake, "only happy", and there are layers of serious emotional problems as getting strangers attentions, just for the attention itself, fame and popularity without any sense whats over.
Having personal accounts with time to time photos for close friends (real friends, not random unknown people or collection of people met few times) and family it is ok. We live in different countries and it is a beauty to share with loves ones.
However maybe it is better to actually directly share and have a valuable conversation about the last holidays. That's the depth, human connection, real feeling, shared thoughts. There is conversation read on the phone not endless texting.
Social Media if there is no actual purpose, as above, just constant personal day to day life exposition from happy holidays to happy boiled egg or happy coffee I see as pointless act of addiction and boredom.
Marketing heading "SHARING IS CARING" - well not necessary is serving us as per The Circle Movie
Sharing "everything" not always is caring, quite often there is hidden agenda to get attention or get data. We all had been trick a bit by social media. Giving our personal data for free instead of being paid for it for example. That's the biggest trick. Rip off in white day.
Sharing Purpose Yes, but not your average lunch salad with whole community of unknown people. If you passionate about your salad, maybe better to create a salad vlog, blog, channel, account than just random posts, here salad here maybe ass, here #happy and here another soup of life as it will be like a toilet paper, not necessary clean and even toilet paper has a good purpose. So make sure your social media is not vomit of your day to day life, as we do not need to know your daily average "sh*t" hashtag #love and #salad
NO THANK YOU. WASTE OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR VALUABLE TIME.
So sharing is good only for something what represents a good cause, for the valuable purpose is the act of service to humanity growth, for deeper interaction with each other, for connecting and making difference, for awaking values, for becoming closer. That time social media even quite personal not for business are the asset for all of us.
Lol, lol, we shift a bit...
The main idea of compering CCTV and Social Media recordings is to clarify that if they would be ever used as proof of work or any other harassment is to DO IT WITH A GOOD CASUSE never to blame, never to shame, never to harm, never to start punish by exposing recordings, videos or screenshots.
Otherwise is not an actual fight against the harassment, it is the fight against a specific person to shame him/her.
And as we all know, the person who is abuser, is quite often the victim of own previous abuse.
Stats speak themselves.
Yes, the abuser should be judge, has to apologise or even put under inspection with a pelanty or even be fried from work if the harm is extremely damaging others. But it is up to HR, as that's one of HR duties or Labour Court if HR washes own hands or there is no HR in the small company. Might happen. So you have the power to speak to the right person. Choose wisely.
Please REMEMBER
That's the law job not ours to punish.
Breaking the law cannot allow us to break it too.
So if you have been mistreated at work place, ALWAYS HAS THE BIGGER PICTURE, THE PROPER PURPOSE, THE POSITIVE SOLUTION.
You might actually solve it, everyone will be proud and feel better themselves as they might also been bully, you even might help bully and you might stay and do like your work, you might be even promoted.
If cannot be solve, well another AMAZING WORK will value and you will never ever regrade to stand for yourself and others by not accepting any sort of abusing behaviour of others.
So please do feel GOOD about what you do, about taken action to solve it.
That's YOUR POWER!
"The only immaterial power you know is your thoughts and feelings." as Joseph Murphy wrote and I will add and "your actions, which you take consciously after thinking and feeling a lot, not act with a reactive and emotional response, but responsible, reasonable and stable not emotionally affected.
because you see Life might be challenging as even old Bible warns us..."and they will be enemies of man in his own household."
So well, even it cannot be accepted, it happens and even if it is not normal, still is a part of life and we have to know how to deal with it well.
btw I do not go to church so please take this under consideration but I do value old books as foundation of humankind,
UNHEALTHY WORKPLACE IS LIKE JUNGLE
Survival instinct exists in all of us and it is reactivated when necessary.
Mouse - Freeze
Gazelle - Fly
Lion - Fight
Choose your Animal...
Well, I will definitely be a lion and I was. Protect my tribe and protect myself.
Bullies as like hyenas - sorry poor hyena but you do not have a good opinion in Savannah.
WHICH ANIMAL ARE YOU?
Proper Discernment is the the only strategy to prevent opponent.
No emotions. But strategic tactic. No fear should be inside to stand for your rights and feel good about yourself and your work.
BAD THINGS HAPPEN FOR GOOD REASONS
Please believe in it and you will be protected.
You will find the way to get out of situation without exit with help of others or your own self-help.
For now we finish. Part 2 is coming.
Let's take a rest from challenging subject. Let's rest, feel cosy with cup of tea and let's cuddle the pillow. Time to rest. Time to heal if ever you had or have now something what really is unpleasant and what make you feel uncomfortable.
We are in this together! Always ready to help.
See you at Part 3.
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#coach #agilementor #mentor #scrummaster #master #lead #headofdesign #manager #director #projectmanager #developer
Work what matters
Do what matters
Design what matters
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Lead what matters
Manage what matters
Direct what matters
Execute what matters
Collaborate what matters
Co-create what matters
Cooperate what matters
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